Confessions of a Bad Editor


Life has gotten easier in a few areas lately and I have had the idea of freedom on my mind. What am I using my freedom for?

Sarah's birthday post made me want to piggyback off the idea of "editing."

Although I used to be an editor by profession, I do not always excel at editing when it comes to LIFE. I am the type who jumps at the chance to add things or responsibilities to my life the moment I'm able. Call it being the eldest child, Type A, an Enneagram 1...I have all the qualifications for this tendency.

Historic examples:

getting married young

buying our house as soon as we possibly could

having a baby as soon as we could afford to live on one income

taking on a very part-time (4 hours/week) job at a yoga studio right before Eloise turned one (that lasted all of 5 months because of the next bullet point)

getting pregnant with Amelia when Eloise was 13 months old

and again with George before Amelia was two

None of which I regret!

Nevertheless, it is my pattern, and I need to be aware of it. In yoga, when a pose is uncomfortable you're encouraged to acknowledge and breathe through / sit with that discomfort. I am not comfortable when life is easy (with "easy" being a very relative term), so as soon as it is, I actively work to take on something else.

Is anyone else crazy like me?

Lately I have had some harebrained ideas, all of which involved adding extraneous things to our lives (pets, new projects and endeavors), and none of them are good ideas right now. Nick reminded me the other night: "You are doing it again!" and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

Sometimes when I'm trying to take on new things, he reminds/encourages me to "Just be a mom!" and I'm thankful that I have a husband who acknowledges how hard this work is, encourages and supports me to do it, and keeps the pressure off of me to take on anything else before I'm ready.

I love dwelling in possibility, but the downside is I can miss out on the life that is happening right in front of me. A "yes" to one thing is a "no" to another, and I need to make sure I have the focus and presence of mind to be saying "yes" to the important things.

Keep the main thing the main thing.

Just because I can do something doesn't mean I SHOULD.

Priorities:

family / friends / community

faith : becoming more regular with our church attendance (which is always really spotty until our baby drops his/her morning nap)

my "job" of being at home full-time and all that it entails

For me right now, freedom is NOT in getting a pet or taking on extraneous projects. Some things that freedom DOES look like right now, since George is just a smidge older and more flexible:

enjoying my kids and saying yes to fun: play dates, spontaneous outings, enjoying the little moments

resuming a workout routine

hopefully writing here more often

starting to think about renovations we want to do to our house

I am valuable regardless of whether I'm doing hard things. I am worthy of being happy and content, and don't always need to be striving for the next thing.

I'm going to be watchful for my tendency to add things to my plate, hold my plans loosely, and be thankful for my freedom.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Proverbs 16:3

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